Lawak Pak Pandir

Dah lama tak update this blog. Dapat lawak ni dari email seorang kawan.


Cerita 1

Satu hari kecoh Pak Pandir panggil wartawan datang kerumah dia. Bila wartawan-wartawan sampai mereka pun bertanya "Ada apa yang menarik ni Pak Pandir?".

Pak Pandir pun kata.."Tenguk ni..aku tanam pokok rambutan tapi tumbuh pokok ubi kayu..hehehe".

"Waaa pelik ni Pak Pandir..cuba cerita kat kami..."

"5 bulan dulu aku ada tanam pokok rambutan kat sini..aku ingat lagi sebab aku ada tandakanya kat sini..."

"Dengan apa Pak Pandir tandakan?" tanya wartawan....

"Dengan batang ubi kayu", jawab Pak Pandir.


Cerita 2

Alkisahnya..hebohlah satu kampung....Pak Pandir mendapat tiket kapal terbang untuk menjadi tetamu Halim Othman dlm Pagi di ERA. Walaupun hanya kelas ekonomi..tapi bagi Pak Pandir...itu sudah cukup mengembirakanya.

Dipendekkan cerita..hari dijanji telah tiba..Pak Pandir pun sudah menunggu seawal subuh di lapangan terbang.

Kapal terbang sampai..Pak Pandir pun naiklah. Masuk jer kapal terbang, Pak pandir terus ambik tempat.

Sebelum kapal terbang berlepas, pramugari pun memeriksa penumpang supaya semua duduk ditempat masing-masing dan bersedia untuk berlepas..

Sekali pramugari nampak Pak Pandir duduk kat kerusi bisnes klass.. setahu
dia.. tak ada penumpang bisnes klass hari tu..

Dengan budi bahasa pramugari tu tegur.

"Pakcik, Pakcik tak boleh duduk kat sini.. boleh tak Pakcik pindah duduk
dibelakang..?"

"Eh.. bagus sungguh bude bahasa orang kapal terbang nii (pramugari)..takpalah nak.. Pakcik selesa dah kat sini.." (*mana tak selesanya...bisnes klass).

Mati akal pramugari tu.. semua pramugari dan pramugara (kecuali yang
terlampau) datang silih ganti..sakit kepala..

Pilot yang menunggu lama nak berlepas, bengong kenapa masih belum ada isyarat kata ok dari ketua pramugari.

Dia pun keluar tengok..pramugari sorang tu cerita..

Pilot tu pun pi lah kat Pak Pandir.."Pakcik.. boleh tengok tiket?"

Pak Pandir kasi tiket..

"Ooo.. Pakcik nak pi KL yer Pakcik?"

"yer nak..."

"taapi Pakcik.. kerusi nii pi Johor Bahru Pakcik.., kerusi belakang baru
pegi KL!"

"yerker nak.. nasib baiklah anak bagitau.."

What day is today?

I'm confused.

What day is today. I know today is Thursday, but are we celebrating anything today?

I was confused because I saw a lady selling flowers (look like an Indonesian employee being sent by her florist-boss) in front of my daughter's school main gate this morning. There was a small manila card that read, 'Bunga untuk Hari Guru'.

Asked my daughter, "Hari ni Hari Guru ke?", because I thought the Teachers' Day was yesterday. "Tak de lah" was the reply I got. Normally schools throughout the country will celebrate Teachers' Day on the same day.

Later heard over the radio (ERA and MixFM) that today is "Hari Jururawat Sedunia".

Poor flower lady, she should be selling flowers in front of HKL.

Car-less

This picture was taken yesterday morning when I was crossing the road to get to my favourite coffeeshop for breakfast. It was about 8.40 a.m. The road was so deserted I thought even a snail could make it to the other side safely.

I could proudly say that I contributed to this car-less scene because I took LRT to work yesterday instead of driving.

The truth is - many roads were closed because of the NAM meeting. So I decided not to take the risk. Better to take LRT than to get stuck in the traffic jam. Lucky me.


Jalan TAR, KL
Posted by Hello

Greed

Today's the Star and Malay Mail reported a (stupid) millionaire lost his RM3.0 millions to black money scam and a lady interior designer lost her RM200,000 in a Nigerian e-mail scam.

Why are these people are soooo f***king stupid? Though it was their money, but why are they so dumb? Didn't they ever read newspapers? Similar cases have been highlighted too many times in the news and they still fell prey to this bogus scheme. According to the paper, this year alone 12 cases have been reported with losses amounting RM3.9 million. Last year, there were 24 cases with losses amounting to more than 1.0 million.

The police, quite rightly pointed out that they were also investigating the victims as the police believed that the victims must have realised they were getting involved into something illegal but went ahead anyway, driven by greed.

Yes, there's nothing more than greed. In the case of the millionaire, he already have millions (of course, otherwise he would not be called one), three wives and 13 kids (as reported in the Star). He sold off jewellery belonging to his three wives as well as two houses and a car to raise the money and made out 20 payments totalling RM3mil over the past year before it dawned on him that he had been duped. What else do you want? More money?!!

Lots of money but nothing in the head. In this case, his eyes and mind were 'blackened' by GREED. Enuff said.

Pindai

Can you guess what "Pindai" is?

Clue - its a malay word. And I just discovered that there is such Malay word when I went to Low Yat Plaza with a friend today.

Both of us were heavily bogged down with works but just too lazy to continue and too tired to finish them. Needing a break, I called Y, he told me he was bored and was reading newspaper to kill off his time. Fetched him and off we went to Low Yat. Spent more than two hours at one particular computer shop. I bought a new sleek looking rectractable mouse for RM35.00 while my friend bought the similar mouse together with other stuffs.

It was while browsing there I saw these words "Cetak, Salin dan Pindai" written on a photo printer box. Curious, I checked the English version - it says, "Print, Copy and Scan".

Fuh, lucky I do not need to take any Bahasa exams anymore.

P/s: My kids sure gonna love me more today. I bought them new cartoon DVDs.